Justifying the flaws of Qatar

I'm getting a little tired of the "you are rich so you have no worries" treatment. People don't seem to have shame mentioning or implying this topic to me so, I have no shame in clarifying it. 

Firstly, I don't feel a need to make up excuses for my life or to even feel guilt about what Allah swt has prevented from me and what He swt has allowed me to have. Everyone's RIZQ is by Allah swt and it is predestined before we even come out of our mother's womb. But since a lot of people have mentioned or in some way criticized me for living in a rich country, I'd like to give you a little insight on what it's like to live in Qatar.

A lot of people tend to have the same reaction when you tell them that you live in Qatar. Throughout the conversation they mention "how easy it is for you, because you got the money". Or what a "luxurious life you must have", when you mention the shopping malls, that people have maids and restaurants.

People often jump into explaining the struggle for money in their own countries and soon the conversation starts turning really awkward. They say: "It's not as easy for me as it is for you". They tend to explain to you what people go through to raise money and support their families as if you've never heard of poverty in your life. Don't get me wrong, I love to help out and I love to listen with an open heart. But when these words start turning into a comparison, it really get's awkward for me. You Don't know what I've been through in life, and you "Don't know what I've experienced and what not. 

A typical conversation:

-You are able to buy lots of abaya's, because it's a Muslim country anyway

- No, believe it or not they are too expensive, so I barely have any myself.
-How much are they?
-About 400-600kr a piece
- that shouldn't be a problem to you, you can afford that... 

Well Excuse me, but who made you my personal economy chancellor?  And second of all, my husband doesn't work day and night for several weeks outside home, just so that I can by myself expensive abayas. Why do people think that they know everything about you? And even IF I could afford them, have people no shame in nosing into someone else's economy business? This is the problem. People think that in Qatar we get our money in the mailbox with our newspapers every day. They think that our job is all about sitting back in an office chair, with a pina colada drink in one hand, while we wave a check at our face with the other hand, as we complain about how hot it is in Qatar.
Allah swt has several destinations for all of us. The chapters in our lives are very different and all of them are there to benefit us. "Everything that befalls a mu'min is good for him". Where ever you are right now, and whatever you are going through is good for you and it is where you are supposed to be. Do not envy someone else, because behind that shiny surface there might be a very dark and ugly ordeal.

I've had my fair share of experience when it comes to "not having it all" and "lacking" in life, and I still do - who doesn't? But alhamdulillah I am very satisfied with that. What I don't like is when people start implying how perfect my life is and that I should just shut up.

The Rich People in Qatar

To be fair, some people are indeed born rich in Qatar and in the Emirates. They never have to study, nor work. EVER. I guess that's where the "Brilliant" ideas come from where they start sending billions of dirhams to Serbia for women to enlarge their breast? - but that's another story.

Regardless, there are loads of facts that need to be explained from a non-Qatari's point of view. And obviously I will only be speaking for myself and from my own experience.

Everyone who lives in Qatar is NOT a billionair or a millionair. Neither are they ALL rich! Believe it or not there are even Qatari families who are struggling with their economy and they work humble jobs to provide their family. Jobs such as selling food to people on special events or so. It's rare to see or to hear about this (because it is a shame to a Qatari family) but it exists.Not to mention the non-Qataris.

It is true that most Qataris are very rich to the point that they sell and buy "special" phone numbers for thousand- if not millions of riyals. - A trend with which I am personally disgusted by. Some Qataris have great jobs but most of them are rich because the society provides them with the money.What can I say? It's their country, and it's one of the richest countries, so why should they not provide their own people with money if they have that possibility? - I bet any country would do that if they could.

But what about non-Qataris who live there? Do they get the same treatment? It is in some way fair to say No, we don't get the same treatment as the Qataris. It is not our country, but we still chose to come here, because we came to work for a better life, not expecting the better life to just come to us. This means that we would have to pay for the water and electricity bill and the Qataris wont. We will stand in queues at the airport and the Qataris won't. We will be sent back home when we retire and the Qataris will stay in Qatar. We will struggle to find a job and the Qataris won't. We will pay for education and Qataris wont etc etc.. Yes, we live just like we would live in Europe.

You will rarely find a Qatari doctor, or a Qatari street worker, or a Qatari builder, never a Qatari cleaner or a Qatari server, yet these people are the ones who build the country. They are the ones taking care of the sick ones, and helping deliver the Qatari babies. They are the ones building homes for all of us, and feeding us. Regardless of that, they don't get to stay in Qatar unless it is for work purposes, if they are sponsored by their husband or family, we won't get the same sallary as the Qataris and we never get a Qatari passport.

These people work hard for every penny that they earn. People here work just like they would work anywhere else. I won't ignore the fact that the salary is better payed because of no-taxes and richer society etc (it's mainly why non-Qataris, and even non-Muslims come to live here. But money sure does not grow on trees just because you live in Qatar. These people stay away from home for months. They miss out on their kids growing up and family events.. but they do it for the sake of giving their kids a good education, a better life, food on the table and hopefully to spend their money in the name of Allah swt on zakah and charity. Yes we swet for money, we bleed for money, we sacrifice sleep and health for the money that we earn... surprised?

Lifestyle in Qatar

The lifestyle in Qatar may also be what tricks people into thinking what a luxurious life one has over here. I rarely post pictures of myself on FB, because as soon as people see me standing by a palm tree, or sitting in a coffee shop, or standing by the beach, they immediately connect this to a life of perfection and a life of luxury- just because it's Qatar. You hear about the malls, the outside-dining. the cinema, the maids, the money, the wealth and you automatically connect this to me. As if  I suddenly own the entire country. I won't speak for everyone when I mention this, because we are all different and Allah swt has given us all different things in different amounts.

But  I will speak from my own experience. As a housewife I get to stay at home a lot. I'm lonely most of the time, and through out most of the year I barely get to go outside. Sure a 10 minutes walk in the frying sun is possible and I suck up  some D-vitamin but it's not enough. Without having a drivings license (yet insh) I am very depended on my husbands who's job requires a lot of time outside home. So, I would stay at home for days and weeks. When he comes back we are able to go to a mall. What does a mall offer? Shopping, Eating, Cinema etc. What else do you really do there than spend your money? We could find a spot on the floor and just sit there and watch bypassing people walk by as we talk about how we should not do anything else than spend our money on charity and zakah, but Allah swt did not forbid us to enjoy ourselves a little bit too.

 - To be quiet honest, I watch women walking around with their Prada bags, DnG heels and expensive makeup.. But, THAT does not define MY life, and it does not define MY goals in life. And I am tired of being put into this category. I don't fit in. I get tired of going through shops, and looking at materialism. My favorite time in Qatar is during the months when the weather is mild and welcoming. It reminds me so much of Sweden, the picnics and fishing and just going out and being social with family and friends.

I love that Qatar has to offer beautiful masjids and adhan and beautiful beaches and the construction of the buildings and other places. I love how beautiful it is here, and I love living here even though my heart yearns for Sweden. But I refuse to justify my life here to people who chose to stamp me as the rich ignorant princess who lives in Qatar and has no experience of a hard life.
 

In fact what am I supposed to do? In fact, what are people who live in Qatar supposed to do for entertainment other than spending time in malls and restoraunt and paying for boat rides during a time where one is breathing fire when stepping outside home? - So because people outside Qatar want to see us humbling ourselves, we are supposed to do the same thing that people do in the west or Europe? Does that mean that we should force ourselves to spend more time outside even if this means that we will fry and eventually die from a sun stroke, just so that we don't spend any money only happy days? - In fact, I do agree that Qatar as a rich country (and any other rich country) should spend more money on minimizing poverty and helping people in need, but then again, what do I have to do with this? Why do I always get to hear this as if it's MY fault that Qatar does not focus on important issues in this world? - How does that even tell you wheter or not I give in charity, and how much of my money goes on charity and how much on living? - If people could just stop generalizing! I did not give brith to and raise every Qatari that you see in Qatar, and in shaa Allah the kids that I do give birth too will be taught  the virtue of giving and charity In shaa Allah.

I once sat in a salon in Bosnia and the hairdresser asked me where I live and I replied that I live in Qatar. She praised the country and explaine dhow she admires it. I directed the topic towards muslims and the islamic part of Qatar, but then I started hearing a woman in the background speaking with disgust about "if it was so great then why don't they spend money on others than themselves?"... So, what am I supposed to say? "Oh I am sorry, I will make sure that I raise them better?" .. No really, what am I supposed to say? Why do I always get a stomach pain whenever someone asks me where I come from? Fo I always have to apologize? For what? A country that isn't even mine? A country that won't even accept me as a Qatari even? - I have the right to be happy in the country where I am without constantly veing beaten up about the fact that it's a rich country. 

 I've met a few wonderful Qatari women in the masjids who have approached me and let me into their private circle. I've met so many wonderful friends and that's really what brightens up my life in Qatar... No, it's not the money. It's my sisters, the great weather and being outside in the nature when possible.

MAIDS
 No I do not have a maid and may Allah swt forbid that I ever will be in need of one permanently because that -to me- will mean that something is wrong with me physically. I know that some women prefer having maids come and clean their homes because they want to focus on other things in life, but this is basically from my point of view on maids (I was raised this way and I'm fine with that).

I've had a made come and help me clean my apartment due to health issues, but other than that I've never had a maid living in my home. I say all of this and you are probably thinking that I have something against people who have maids or use maids- but I don't. Unless you have lived here, you will not understand why anyone would want to have a maid in their house. "it's like having a slave" I heard people comment. "Maids are treated poorly" is what I've heard other people say. But do NOT speak of what you don't know off.

First of all, these women and men who come to live in Qatar with other families are (to my knowledge and experience) provided with excellent care, food, room, bathroom, money etc. If they need anything they ask for it and it is given or bought to them. If the family can trust the maid they bring the maid out to picnics or other family gatherings. Sometimes this is to take care of the children, but I've seen maids coming along just for the sake of enjoying themselves too.

Back in their own countries they are starved and so are their families. They are sick and can not afford medical care. Some are even threatened to be killed if they do not pay certain dues or whatever the society want's them to pay. So, these poor people seek desperate help to come and work in Qatar. Now remember that it is not the Qataris who kidnap slaves to their homes, no, it is the maids themselves who ask to come and work for the families in Qatar. Maybe these maids even have a doctor's degree in their own country, but they will still get less payed than if they worked in Qatar as maids. They do get to contact their families, and they send money to their families every month. If they want to leave Qatar they can leave at any time- of course this is a long process because the family who asked for the maid had to pay for her trip and everything else.

When I just came to Qatar and I interacted with a few maids, I was immediately drawn to them emotionally. I listened to their stories from India, or Somalia, or Uganda, and it teared my heart appart. I never for a second though that I had to be careful with these people, because to me they were poor and innocent. due to my ignorance It angered me when I was asked to keep a bit of a distance from them. But what can I say? - As a European a maid was someone who I learned to pitty and wanted to help. I do not want to speak ill of the less fortunate but I soon learned why I was asked to keep a distance and to treat them professionally, instead of having an emotional connection to them. Sadly in environments where they come from, they are often forced to steal or lie, and can be manipulative. They might have gone through traumatic experiences and might react aggressively when approached in a way that would trigger that behaviour to come out. I've learned this the hard way. And when I saw that for myself, I was disappointing,. Here I was opening up to them and opening my heart up to them and I was used, but did I think bad of them? No- of course not. I just learned that when they are treated professionally (by command or restriction) it is for their own best and for the safety of the family in the house. Yet again, I promote kindness, and I have heard weird stories about maids who have been treated poorly, may Allah swt punish the people who do these things, but never have I seen it or heard about it in the news or anywhere else. Without generalizing, I want to mention that all people are different and there are surely maids who will give you no trouble in shaa Allah. 

So, why do some women have maids? Well, if you have been in Qatar you will have noticed that Qataris don't live in little humble houses or tiny apartments. Their houses are ma shaa Allah like castles or museums and they find pride in it. Well, at least that's how the houses seem to me. So, while the mother is preparing the food, the maid is cleaning the castle. Perhaps the mother has gotten old, or she has health issues, so it's a good thing to have a maid on the side.

Yet again, I won't generalize, some people just want to live like kings and queens, and that's why they have maids.
But am I going to make excuses for it? Noooo... :)

No country is perfect. Look at your own country and tell me that it's perfect. Alhamdulillah my goal to stay here is to be closer to Allah swt. Each and everyone one of us has a choice in life and we chose how to live. Just because you live in Sweden, does that mean you answer for the racism? Does it mean you celebrate Christmas?  - No. Can you change any of that ? - No. So why do people expect me to justify and excuse every single wrong thing happening in Qatar and why am I considered a Qatari with a mind set of a qatari person? - I've lived in Bosnia for 2 years in Denmark for 16 years, in Sweden for 5. I'm in Qatar for 3 years, does that suddenly make me a ignorant rich perfect qatari princess?

Ok.. I got the fustration out. :D Feel free to comment.